oh. dang man.

i'm so bloody scared. i screwed up royally for the oral! serious. i was stammering my way throughout the whole thing, and it's like, i couldnt complete a sentence before pausing to calm my nerves. i mean, it's like no tone variation, and i couldn't even think of a passably smart answer. and, it's like. i was so nervous, that i started hyper-ventilating, and my mind was completely blank. and, yes, i broke down completely after that. how great was that. i guess i shall be expecting to fail chinese. shit.

and taxis. so bloody unreliable. taking that day i was late; that day that miss chua screamed at me; when it was like so totally uncalled for!. okay, that's another story. okay, back on track. i called for a cab, and being so typical, they put me on hold, playing stupid music. then it took blood thirteen minutes for the taxi to arrive. and it's like, when i called for the taxi, taxis started to appear on the streets! WTH. then, that taxi driver didn't know the way to go, and completely got lost at broadrick/goodman/chungcheng there. i spent a good 5-10 minutes there! and the total fare was like $10!! while, from my east coast to my school should only be about $5++. WTH. then. that's not only the first time. it's like today. the taxi took it's own sweet time, and when he could actually turn, he just didn't! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? that's not the only thing. more and more stories. but, i'm too lazy to type it out.

i don't know what's up with me and those nightmares. it's like so real. like i wasn't dreaming at all; and i was actually living through it. it's those that you wanna wake up, yet you can't. i was feeling like i was paralysed; like i couldn't move at all. i was comanding my eyes to open, but they weren't, but, i know they were, cause i could see. it's like i couldn't get up, even though i was telling myself to. like; there were shivers oing down my spine. electrical charges flowing through my body. that creepy. and this happened once i closed my eyes. and when i got up, sweating; it was only 40 minutes later. eerie.

today, was sucky. i just couldn't calm down. plus, tonnes of people saw mr tearing. but, the plus of it all, was that there was this extremely hot, shag-worthy, causcasian chick. i promise. she was drool-worthy hotness. that hot. and, i don't pass off these kinda comments to just about anybody. i have good taste, in women, that is. HAHA. but, with guys. they are just little toys. ((: so yeah.

hmms. i've been wondering. am i being to hung up? but whatever. i feel somehow that.. nvm. i need to get myself sorted out. dang man. i'm so very pissed with myself. i can't believe what i've done. what i've somehow morhped into. yet, i'm not even sure if i changed at all. this is all so confusing. BUT YEAH, WHATEVER.

i owe tonnes of homework. english compo, which i have no idea what to write about. so yeah. i know it shouldn't be so dramatic, or primary-schooly and such. but, i just don't have the time to do anything about it. i can't think. i've been very dizzy/giddy/feel faint and such today. i don't know why. like my legs are heavy, i'm light-headed, my neck aches... and i feel terible. sighs.

manda.

i dont feel color today.

plus. there's some stuff, that i just can't seem to get out of my mind. is it true?